Thursday, April 23, 2015


Feeling frail
Feelings fail
Like a creep
Creep alike
Thinly spread
Spindly thread
Finely tread
Finally dead?

Down not out
Drown it out
Self may steal
Steel myself
No backup limbs
But climb back up

Bootstraps me
But traps me
No rest for me
Formed restlessly

written June 2014


What is this poison?
In the belly, in the soul,
This malaise pasted bloody
atop perception:
An overlay of agony.
Inartful thought and action
Propagates through perception,
Permeates consciousness;
Nearly kills the being,
Rendering it something other,
Nearly monstrous.
Pain radiates into the soul,
An un-cured malady
Of desirable resentment
Residing deep beneath;
Barely glimpsed,
for all its ubiquity.

Thinking of God(less)

I don't believe in God.

Don't misunderstand me: that doesn't mean I'm convinced that I know there is no God. I'm pretty sure there are not gods in the ancient sense of powerful beings in the sky and such--sky daddies, as they've been humorously referred to in some circles.

I'm pretty sure that few human beings referring to God can even imagine a being as big as they're trying to refer to--I ignore those who claim to know of any divine will personally. Appealing to scripture is dubious: did the writers understand what they meant? Do we understand what the writers intended, or what we wish to take away from their writings in our own context? Can we believe the more extravagant claims made in religious texts as anything but myth and superstition from an earlier time?

I don't believe I could fully imagine an entity that vast, but it seems to me it wouldn't be hung up on the sorts of religious observances that humans often follow. I can't imagine it being concerned that we believe in or worship it, that it is anything like the jealous god of Israel depicted in the pre-Christian Bible.

I also don't think that my belief would make a difference if there were a God. What matters to me is merely the question of how to live. I think any deity with any regard for mortal life would have to agree with the Golden Rule. It would have to have some degree of compassion if it understood us at all. A sort of love-without-preference. And if it is not these things, then why affiliate myself with it more than I must?

I believe that what we experience as God is a purely a human phenomenon. Some biologically-influenced imperative to look for patterns, to feel connected, to be part of something greater than ourselves, to see stories in the world, to think we have an audience.

Perhaps there is something greater than ourselves besides the immense collection of our species, the groups we belong to; "something out there" as the more nebulous and open-minded theists (or believers in ET) might say. But for me, I will focus on what's in front of me. I will learn to love my fellow humans. I will try to be the best limited, mortal, human creature I can be.

Then I will die, and I suspect that will be the end of it.

Heart Health Care

Where heart transplants
Are concerned,
Rejection is
A killer;
Whether it's
Asking for donors
Or, especially,

Compromise, then:
Install a
Pig, or pump.
They don't argue
(Or aren't allowed to).
Will I still feel like me
With them inside?

Is not for
A missing beat,
It's for an
irregular one:
So call a medic
with paddles to fix
This odd beat.

Whisper the Cold

bitter breeze,
breathe a deep freeze
foisted forcefully,
bodily into me.
stealth-creeping heat-thief
with wordless chills,