Wednesday, July 30, 2008

What is it?

not knowing it you wonder,
not having it you seek,
not feeling it you ponder,
afraid of it you're meek.

without, you think it big;
having, you see it's not.
small change comes within,
no change is seen without.

mere come without change,
this knowledge so strange
to one inexperienced;
so visceral enduring it.


[originally from 6/1/2008]

burning conception

I am pregnant with revenge,
anger the seed implanted.
First of fire conceived,
flame-tempered like steel;
birth breathed as by bellows,

it emerges already deadly.
Cooled and diamond hard,
white as ice in its tightness,
the plan is forged and solid,
now ready to see action.



[originally from 5/27/2008]

Drought

Your spine was the mountains',
your blankets their snow,
your hair their glaciers,
jagged tufts malformed.
It's melting all away,
like they all are.
Soon its beauty will stop
trickling to the lowlands,
parching those below.



[original date unknown. early-mid 2008]

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Living Gray

Living gray-
season undecided, a slumbering sun
tries pushing back the covers, futile,
cold feet sitting out in it, can't wake.
All grays around, tinge of cold,
but season undecided.

Hues of gold:
don't know what's next, sun or gloom?
and which is now is not so sure.
Gloom the norm I feel, it seems;
tried to push back gray clouds so long,
weather uncertain,

blues unfold.
only hoped for taste of sun
on paling skin, not sickly but deprived,
to emerge from hiding here alone
and find myself with someone
sure and sunny.

Gray remains,
hoped-for days far-off, unreal, unseen.
Unexpected, gray means life like rain,
flows free of bounds, both joy and pain,
the shades mean free, undefined:
in between it's gray.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

how it's grown

[I'm seriously considering recording this or finding some venue to recite it.]



creeping and sneaking,
unknown unforeseen,
how it's grown:
down median, up curb,
harshness man-made,
daily news blurb:
acid rain, acid sea,
smog not fog,
landfill wildlife habitat,
see how we're green!
reusing our poisons,
recycling our toxins,
addictive, contagious,
growth mimics man,
invasive species
undesirables, weeds,
roundup ready GMO,
weed and feed:
poison your yard
to stop centipedes,
fight the chemical war
on pests, escalating annually,
fight the war on crop yield
with known carcinogens
and runoff trickling
from livestock, each crop,
into drinking water;
feed the beasts antibiotics,
escalate a needless war
on confined-animal diseases,
crucible for pandemic dissemination,
super-bugs rise with technology;
feed crops to machines,
the eco-friendly greenhouse nightmare:
sustain yourself
while choking, boiling, drowning,
alternative to poly-x-ene,
neon jogging suit,
spandex exercise,
eat more, do more, busy,
stay active-fit-healthy, lean,
mean corporate earning machine,
meat eating fine feeding,
overfish understock,
machine born for eating:
live for those rib-eyes,
enjoy kidney disease,
colon cancer, cholesterol, coronary:
life fast dies hard,
leaves a wake of corpses,
dine on victims--
okay when nameless,
call them dinner, lunch,
breakfast, brunch,
bacon beefburger,
soft skin flayed off
for comforting touch;
durability: leather
pigskin sheepskin
cashmere sweater,
wear chinchilla,
save gorilla;
elephant in a box,
concrete like a tomb,
at the park in the zoo:
woodland critters
urban living,
elevated to captive
ambassadors to the wild,
privileged to live with
neurotic rocking,
walking back and forth
for miles in place,
chain the dangerous,
dominate problem animals,
correctional facilities
constructing near you:
expanded romper rooms,
multi-level parking garage,
high-rising condos
for tenants and cars:
residents soar like condors,
vultures circling the block,
dollar-hungry hyenas, lyin's,
weeding sick like euthanasia
hunting picking bones,
predator/scavenger as appropriate
claws retract to walk,
lower carbon footprint
by light stepping, big talk--
sweep up footprints as you go,
no one needs to know:
green or not, green means go,
but green they say when green? is no,
swept underrug and overtown,
forests to houses, burn em down,
sprawling suburbs let unbound,
two cars each garage,
or many more,
two kids each house,
or just don't stop:
go forth and overpopulate!
multiply thy fruits,
receive thy just desserts,
four kids, six kids, ten kids:
one would be lonely,
none would leave only,
a lineless termination of kind,
no descendants an end
with no means,
natural tendency's to bring calamity,
destructive environment,
habitat of a destructive breed,
democracy of indecision
leaves tyranny for the majority,
by the minority,
for the minority;
terrorism for the foreign,
we're tough on terror!
slashed your rights in half
to make you safe,
but you're still free,
to choose between
equivalent evils, antagonized:
lessers of evils and betters of bank,
investors, profiteers,
those of privilege and rank,
can't help what they are,
genetic moral low score;
nor can the poor,
or is it social engineering,
sympathy without compassion,
derision and division
of unusual fashion?
won't help the sick bleeding,
instead deeply drinking
the nature of the beast,
to grow and release,
ascending up higher
expands till it breaks;
what's left in its wake
and what was its make?
pick nature or nurture,
or neither.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

A good chance

Vibrant

refreshing like a bright color,
energizing in the sun,
dazzling me intricately
as a difficult dance,
but so easy to maneuver, natural.
no effort to keep pace.

Learing

at times beneath a storm, up,
we see black clouds, winds rage,
attempt oppressing without successing:
thunder shakes no fear.
I, the fool, lie lower,
gazing up at her exubrance,
defiance of a storm.

Come a fall

we'll both cling to, unsteady,
or lose all balance
and both go tumbling
down hill we've climbed.
I, Jack, hopeful my crown
will not break in twain
on way down from where aspired,
but we're not made of eggshells,

so we have a good chance.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Steeping me

steeped in it
—in you, in anything—
does it dissolve me?
Dilute me?
I absorb it,
take it in
and it changes me,
takes of me;
I disperse out.
Dunked repeatedly
too many times,
or left too long,
what is left of me?
What is gone out
when the tonic is drunk?
Though bitter at times,
regarded as junk,
with you I find
we make a tea so fine.

hanging garden babylon

the curtain of infinity,
green-needled,
aspires endlessly
to the clear blue,
hanging down
toward the bottom—
how far?

Some branches defy
the skyward fall,
reaching up to the ground.
They try so hard from high,
but cannot reach up,
for their piny chandelier
hangs aloft.

Others point down
off the world,
infinitely away,
taller than house
and lower than me,
curtain hung from the earth,
of greenery.

Distractions

Give me a distraction
from all this hot action
that always walks past me,
severely attracts me,
and moves on without traction.

Need a preoccupation
to end this frustration
that assails me daily
and tortures me gaily
like an intoxication.

Get me out of this rut,
this nothin out my gut,
before the poison takes hold
or I do something bold
to remove it.

bus cross walk

bus block crosswalk
go red now stop
right turn
sunburn
spin round
hit white
cross stop light
no street fight
no-shirt bike
walk wait no strike

bus drive light change
bike walked cross main

reconsideration

Is it a cracked outer shell
or a broken heart inside?
It seems something internal—
heart bleeding out dry,
hanging on by hardened arterial thread.
something makes afraid,
whether for something real
or imagined instead.
afraid of a touch,
afraid of a word,
afraid of a feeling
so seldom heard,
afraid to evade,
or to pursue.
in some way so frightened
something might enter here.
Welcoming change,
but afraid of it, too;
seeking all the same
—I'm the only I'll blame,
hold it in silent shame—
don't quite know what to do.
In the past it was damaged,
broken black box or cracked
armor the image—
has it been renewed, replaced,
or poorly repaired,
hastily patched?
Somehow it's changed,
fits different now, for better or worse.
Is it a mask now, behind which I hide?
A shell or façade, still worn eventide?
A shade worn all times,
to hide nervous eyes?
Seems like a sham,
plying for pity,
expecting another to do all the work—
tho I can't see where I shirk—
so that in hard times
it drives me berserk
that drooped disappointment
always follows hope's perk.
No mere glass can show me where to look,
nor can I find in interior nooks,
the fault which eludes me
or a trail of blood
or a DNA trace
to figure the mystry
and solve it for good.

Friday, July 18, 2008

A skin glimpse flinch

your walking, rocking
hip & torso moving, more so
makes gap pale
as jacket-pantswaist separate.
this skin glimpse,
shape of you,
makes me flinch,
pine for this nothing
which you don't even do.
admiring eyes follow;
it is no glimpse at cosmic truth,
but does not feel so hollow
as what mere bodies would betray.

would this notion bust
if more were revealed—
from naked strip
to stripped naked—
do you have, bare, appeal?
is my vision unreal?
looking closer showing flaws—
yet unexposed are innards,
mind's mattering nothing
when your mettle, can't perceive
thoughts invisible track,
within, soul secret me
without a word to intercede,
holy thing worming
out your mind from form,
reveals shape of interior:
if broken like me
or just pure ugly,
attraction deceases,
this interest releases,
so illusory.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

spiraling up

spiraling up
as if upon invisible
emancipated
parking garage of air
the seagle rises
glider wings move slight
unaided upwelling
winding on current of wind

Monday, July 14, 2008

easy on the eyes

some bodies nice
—eyes cold as ice
protruding bosoms
—remote the wisdom
excite the sense
—thought sense absent
with sunny smile
—like crocodile
and hint of sex
—hormones that vex
which promise fun
—shan't last, not one
my heart, it jumps
—to pump blood to pants

Bus Force Winds

bus-like forces
move you towards us
and with delight I saw this flight.
gradual your path to me,
and for sure, I'd thought, it be,
your stopping place back here;

I see

now same force, it pushed you back
and beyond, not here exact.
It kept on pushing till you were gone
--out of sight--
and, myself, I must confess,
'twas arrogant the fates to test.
my weakness, over-confidence
in things that change like gusty winds.

Young Meets Old

when young meets old,
the action's bold;
a gap is bridged
of age untold.

when old meets young,
a victry's won,
against the gulf
that seprates some.

when old beats young
it's damage done,
to bruisèd ego
of youth handsome

when young beats old,
a thing's retold;
that wear of age
the fate doth fold.

see you squinted

too bright for me,
too much at once,
I need a shade
or squint the eyes.
hand held up
to block out glare,
tho you're so far
(in truth still near).
and so to see,
internalize,
imagine you
in simpler guise.
this try to see
brings misery,
doomed to fail,
so blind leaves me.


but I won't let
you fall apart;
in my mind
you are contained
and control
I must maintain.
I screw em up,
see what I like,
whether day
or, better, night.
tight in here,
no thing can reach,
safe at last
where none shall breach,
here with me,
it is complete.

blinded vision
gives the gift
of you as mine:
tho I see clearly,
thoughts incline,
you can't see
you've been confined

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Morning word

interesting diction on waking,
unusually expanded,
unfettered by consciousness
and grown to unusual size,
altering pathways and flows;
mustn't be wasted.