Friday, June 13, 2008

She will come

when she will come
a bell will tinkle
I will know it is her
I will smile my love
when she will come.

when she will come
all will be well
I will be well
I will be with her
when she will come.

when she will come
she will take my hand
we will be as one
we will be each other's
when she will come.

when she will come
knowledge will be sure
all will be clear
all will endear
when she will come.

when she will come
I will leave here
but not alone
but not alone
when she will come.

when she will come
I will draw curtains
it will be bright
it will be right
when she will come.

when she will come
I will not be lonely
she will then show me
she will love me only
when she will come.

when she will come
my hope will fullfil
my wait will be done
my wait will be worth it
when she will come.

when she will come
I will die happy
she will still care
she will not bare
when she will come

when she will come
life will be over
it will be so sweet
it will be complete
when she will come

5 comments:

Roxana said...

such sweet rhythms... so touching the simplicity
[damn, almost made me cry :-)]

Paul Bernard said...

Not bad. Are you a musician, is it a song?

Bryan said...

If I had a better sense of melody, it could easily become a song.

I was actually thinking more of archaic, formulaic structures when I wrote this.

It's funny how little emotion went into this piece--I don't really feel this way at all, and wonder if I should have exaggerated it a bit more to make it truly satirical.

Roxana said...

ha :-)
this almost makes my emotion look stupid :-)
but no, it is just as it should be, hadn't Poe already said in his Philosophy of Composition that the poet's emotion is irrelevant, even damaging when composing, and that it is only the effect upon the reader which matters, and the author's cold-blooded strategy to achieving this effect? but if you really wanted this to be a "truly satirical" piece, then just "exaggerating a bit" won't do it, I'm afraid :-) you would have to re-write it.

Bryan said...

Well I guess it goes both ways--your blog evokes a lot of emotion in me...probably you put more in though =)

I think you're right, it's got the wrong slant to be a satire. I guess it is what it is.

And Poe was right of course--what you get out of it needn't resemble what was put into it. Not to say I was cold-blooded; it was a sweet little idea that jumped into my head when I heard the bell-like ringing of a room mate's keyring...