Friday, January 18, 2008

meat your murder

turning onto a rangeland road, one car width between two fences, it was soon blocked by an enormous cow. It was sitting and it was not going to budge. I was passenger side, dad was driving. The cow ignored us, the thing looked like a great pig and responded to no horn or sound.

so he rammed it with the car. nothing happened for a second then it looked frightened. It roused and tried to back up slowly, and by then it had been rammed a few more times, clearly hurting the great beast.

It tried backing up, slowly, but it raged at us in anger and was not entirely cooperative against its attackers.

So he shot it. Earlier it had been a man selling general goods from a trailer, like a white trash gypsy 7-11, but now my dad easily wielded it, finding it in the car.

I didn't notice that until later.

He fired and tore its neck open. I looked into the creature, seeing arteries and its heart, and mostly empty space besides. Insides, no entrails, It had empty space, and I remarked at how it reminded me of a person...I had seen the same happen, the shell torn and the nearly hollow insides gaping out at me.

Blood spurted and some splattered on me, but as dad shot the aorta or jugular open - maybe both - a stream of it hot to the side. I was the only one who flinched.

I thought of it as a vegan would; slaughtering of beef, these people weren't doing much different from the usual, horrendous as their murderous impatience was. It was a girl I know in the car too, I thought, and she had earlier quoted a song I didn't know, but my dad had known it.

I don't believe it exists.

We thought this bovine was dying; how this would help us get around it was not on our minds, it was clearly a solution to kill it.

It was deflating before our eyes and had stopped trying to back away, so my dad pulled toward it, done with his uncharacteristically jubilant kill.

But he got too close and the car was no longer there to protect me. The cow grabbed me and it was already a bloated hag, shape changing into something grotesque and desperately clinging to me, murderous rage in her eyes, puffed, bloated skin hanging flabbily from its frame.

It was very much alive now, and it had me in its grasp.

I'm not sure if I escaped, but it was terrifying and it seemed my dad was powerless to help me. I don't know if he was out of bullets, or if he had a clear shot, or if his bullets were ineffective, but he couldn't help.

If I got out of this one, it was on my own.

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