Sunday, January 20, 2008

The barrenness of the bald sky was opened to me, just as the barrenness of the highlands opened to it. Destitution begets destitution. Even so, the baldness of my head was shown the barrenness of the cold air, which passed mercilessly across my scalp. Nevertheless, an obscuring mass had been removed from my eyes even as masses of hair were shorn from my head.

The truth is rarely warm and inviting, to start.

The change I had made to my head was accidental to begin with, but as so often happens, I realize more and more that it should be this way. Even if it's unusual or uncomfortable, or mistaken for a side effect of cancer therapy.

None of this matters, the world is vibrations passing, all will pass.

Doubly so because hair grows back.

So looks from passing traffic phased me not at all as a sunsetting vista of snowy misty mountains surrounded the plateau upon which I had parked, I knew that the barren construction site soon-to-be shopping center was unlike my head, barren and open, naked to the sky, though they both were.

One was a blight, the other was freedom.

Yet hate comes to mind for many: racial hatred and skinned heads go together, despite the many skinheads who are not racist, and the many bald men who are not skinheads.

And this look is a look of death, to others. Chemical, radiation poisoning - a bare skull, shape clearly visible, every bump and contour. It's death's grinning head, or close enough. Have a nice day, they say...do they think it will be one of my last? Do they think I will soon become an emaciated set of fleshless bones?

Perhaps they should. It may as well be so, as far as we know.

This is also a monastic look, and practicing yoga made it feel more so. It was even a meditation with less distraction than usual. This is the image I keep in my mind when I see myself in the many mirrors.

Ultimately, the look of a bare skull is new; something that was hidden is revealed for what it truly is, its adornment removed.

This too will pass, but for me and for now, it will be a symbol.

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